The Mormons on my door step

A pair of Mormon missionaries seem to be stalking me tonight.

They first came by three nights ago. They rang the bell and appeared to be trying to cover their face by putting their hands up in front of the camera the feeds the monitor up in my living room. Good strategy. If Japanese people see a couple of foreigners at their door they'll probably play dead instead of open the door.

English, after all, is scary.

I couldn't tell who/what they were. I thought maybe they were figures of authority or something, so I pressed the button and said hello. Once I realized what I was dealing with I switched to English and said good evening. The main guy said it was strange to be speaking to somebody in English.

I told them I was busy. They asked if they could come back. I said sure. Really, I don't mind if they come back, as they have tonight, but I'm only going to answer the door if I'm really truly free and have a few minutes to chat.

It might be interesting to chat with them, to hear where they're from, how long they've been here, their impressions of Japan. But let's be honest. I'm not interested in any religion. Not Mormonism, not Buddhism.

I am agnostic. A hard sell. Not gonna work. I'll take a free copy of the Book of Mormon, though. For reference (and, ahem, for future Halloween costumes ... I'm a bad person).

Tonight has not been a night on which I've felt up to chatting with missionaries, so I've ignored their ringings after identifying their classic hand-in-front-of-the-camera routine. Three times, they've rung. And three times, like my Japanese counterparts, I've played dead.

Religion, after all, is scary.

Side note: If by chance the missionaries read my name on the door, Googled me, and found this blog, I apologize for ignoring you on Thursday night. The first time I was napping. The second two times I was up, but kinda busy doing stuff. You know, like making a sandwich (avocado, tomato, lettuce and ham) and getting ready to go out (to a bar ... to have a beer maybe). I'm sorry. Feel free to keep trying. Perhaps we can chat some time. But remember: devout agnostic. I'm covered.